wat bout pragnant strippers??
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
