I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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