So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
