She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
