3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
