Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
