; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
