Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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