Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
