Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
