you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There r osticjed everywhere
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
