508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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