every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
