either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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