She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
