in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize