office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
