I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
