dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
