Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
