i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
