whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize