i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
