My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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