I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
