there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
