doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
