I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
