Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
