Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
