Kiss
Puke
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hippo gnu deer
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
