Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he thought i was a dude.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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