last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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