I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
