Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
