this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come share oat with me in your robe
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
