My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
