i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
