I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think I just sharted jello shots
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