you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
