this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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