You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
