i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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