she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
