So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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