Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize