did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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