I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
