I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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