The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I touched a dick in church today
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