they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
