Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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