VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
