girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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