Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
