would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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