it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
