there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
