Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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