So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
