Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
