He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The air taste purple.
Randomize
