you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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