I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
